Times I would like to be a prosecutor

I have been in the role as a prosecutor a few times. In law school, I did an internship at the Santa Clara District Attorney’s Office prosecuting felony drug crimes. A few years ago I was hired by the City of Boerne as a special prosecutor to prosecute a criminal defense lawyer who lied under oath during a criminal investigation.

By and large, I am happiest representing and working with people.

However, while seated in 8F, I’ve decided that I would very much like to prosecute the woman behind me for the criminal offense of Entitlement.

Granted, it’s not on the books yet, but in a nod to the Texas Legislature, here’s a rough draft of the statute:

A person commits an offense if he intentionally, knowingly or recklessly communicates to another person that he is more important that other citizens, the standard societal protocols do not apply to him, and complains about not receiving special treatment. An offense under this section is a Class B misdemeanor. If the person articulates, implies, or directly complains to a person in the service industry, the offense is a Class A misdemeanor. If the person communicates this way to his parent or guardian, the offense is a felony.

(Transcript: We’ve just landed)

9F: “This is Anaisha. Transfer me to my mother immediately.”


“This is Anaisha. Give me my mother right now. It is an emergency and I will not wait.”


“Mother. I am on the runway. My flight has landed. I have two bags. Are you in front yet?

(exacerbated sigh).

(Sound of phone being put back into purse)

After I prosecute her, I’m also going to go after her mother for the offense of Tolerating and/or Raising an Entitled Child.

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